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I'm gonna have a badass scar
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
The dick lei will go down in squad history
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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