Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
