wake up i wanna do it froggy style
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
