This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
