Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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