If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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