Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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