yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
