I heard we made out
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
