i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
