did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
