Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
