Rock
Scissors
Fuck
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize