he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
