Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So much Jack, so little girl.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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