perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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