So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
