I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
