is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize