First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Drunk is not a location!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
