when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
