how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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