I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
