pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
