i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
