What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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