In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
