Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
