dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I need to calm my uterus...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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