You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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