Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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