Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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