Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You're breaking my sexual little heart
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
