How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize