she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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