NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
