If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Randomize
