His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
