"it" just moved
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
