do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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