Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
