I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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