she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
