I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Never underestimate the power of titties
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
