I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Floor bacon is actually really good
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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