the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
All I want is dick and wine.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
