i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
