We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I think my moral compass just broke
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
