I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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