this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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