it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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