Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
