butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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