Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize