he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
