id be glad to
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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