she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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