Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I think my moral compass just broke
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
