yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
