I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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