I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
