did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
