oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
